Razxs

Was it all worth fighting for?

2012-03-01T03:58:00.002+08:00

Why did you go & cut your hair that way?

Have you forgotten my words back when we were at the floating platform watching the stars?

Didn't I tell you that "I liked your hair this way, so keep it".

I guess you forgot.

All those memories of you & me didn't meant anything to you, right?

I was just a 'little sister' to you.

But even so, the fact that my words don't mean a thing to you, hurts me so much.

What in the world was I expecting from you, really?

Should've known better than to expect from someone like you.

My heart hurts so badly when you spend quality time with an unknown person that you kept a secret of.

Jealous.

Now this, Your hair.

You didn't even miss me.

It took me alot of courage to tell you I miss you.

But yeah, apparrently I shouldn't have wasted that effort on you,

Now that I'd realised that I mean nothing to you.

Memories,

2012-02-25T12:09:00.002+08:00

I still remembered the day we went shisha.

I fell asleep because it was late & i was tired,

You rested your head on top of my stomach as you lay awake.

My fingers brushed across your hair,

as they slowly linger to your chest,

I could feel your heartbeat, beating.

But I was still asleep, though.

They unconsciously moved to feel him.

I could still remember the feeling I had when I woke up, my hands on his chest.

He didn't even pushed my hands away.

Is this a sign?

I don't know, But I hope It will be, someday.

A complicated feeling

2012-02-24T03:59:00.002+08:00

I was happy when that 1 week, we got closer,

We are able to talk to each other, unlike before,

where i would hide or run away whenever i see you.

We even made a promise.

Hah, A weird promise,

That i would help you get souvenir for the Airshow,

I don't know, whether you are using my feelings, or sincerely treat me like a friend,

But Whenever I see you, It reminds me that you already have a girlfriend,

& that there's a wall between us.

I should be happy that we become closer after 3 days,

But somehow deep in my heart, I was disappointed,

That it was you.

I wanted him instead, not you.

Weird, Huh?

When he sent me a valentine's text, I was happy.

even though you were there with me,

I was even more happier when i got that text from him.

I began to doubt my feelings for you.

When he sent me another impromtu text,

I was delighted, I felt like the happiest person in the world.

When you were there with me,

I could feel nothing,

As I watched you fall asleep,

I merely watched.

Unlike when He was sleeping,

I wanted to stroke his hair & count his breaths,

Maybe It tells me something,

That I've moved on from you.

Maybe now, I only feel for you as a siblings would.

I don't know,

I still don't know my true feelings,

When i do, will you be there for me as he would?

Wished you were here.

2011-11-29T09:57:00.003+08:00

Maybe i'm starting to fall for you.

You got me not thinking about him for 2 weeks already.

i enjoy every outing with you.

I love it whenever you poke me

I love it whenever you say i'm cute.

I love it when you try to make me happy.

But it's sad, that both of us are 'brothers' & 'sisters'

such a shame.

You are that funny guy who never fails to make me laugh.

whenever you're sad, i try to make you happy.

whenever you ask me out, i go out.

But yesterday when you told me the truth bout another guy hating me,

i was shocked, but I told you i was okay.

& you believed it.

to think I'd hoped you'd actually cared and know me.

so disappointed.

As usual

2011-10-23T15:58:00.002+08:00

If life doesnt fucked you up, what else will?
The man whom i'd loved so much, will be leaving the hotel.
what the fuck.
He wants to experience different working environments.
I know, it's his dream, but it's less than a year since he started working here,
& now he's gonna leave?!
I loved him too much that I didn't want him to leave me.
Grrr, What if I forget about him?
What if he forgets about me?
what if!?!?!?!?
Arghhhhhhhhhh,
So shitty love is.
Damn Damn Damn.
This is why I still don't have a boyfriend after 17years of my life.
I only have many close guy friends.
blearghhhhhh, I need a man in my life.
I think I've become a delinquent.
Fucked up violent straight-forward shorty

I really really loved you

2011-09-29T17:11:00.002+08:00

Even though you already had a girlfriend,
who is apparently older than you, studying in university,
has led me thinking that you liked older girls.
but when i saw you on tuesday while walking to office,
you smiled and cause my heart to melt for you.
i couldn't resist falling for you all over again even though i told myself over and over again not to.
why do you have to do this to me?
this is why i hate you.
i hate you, you know that?
i hate you for making me fall in love with you
i hate you for making me break my heart.
i hate you for making me not want to love you.
i hate you for making me ignore my feelings for you
i hate you for making me fall in love with you back
i hate you for making me want to love you more
i really really hate you.
really, i do.

To you, whom may never read this

2011-08-28T17:17:00.002+08:00

Dear Chef Hiszuan,
I don't know your age or anything about you,
I know, this letter will never reach you,
I also, this pint up feelings of mine will never reach you,
Maybe someday it will, i dont know,
i just keep hoping, one day, you might accept my heart before my heart dies,
cause this wait, is killing me slowly inside.
I try so hard to change myself for the better.
I try to be optimistic, but it all comes down flat.
I am never a brave person.
sure, in front of my friends, i seems so confident & outgoing,
But in reality, i never was who i really am.
I am just afraid of getting my heart broken so many times,
I don't want to get hurt anymore,
But this feeling, overwhelms me so much, it drowns my heart,
suffocating me.
I hate it,
I hate it so much,
But this love, i cant just seems to stop it no more,
You, you caused this,
but you didnt do anything wrong,
i cant hate you for that,
The more i wait to see you,
The more my heart aches so badly.
When my best friend colleague wanted me to share you with her,
I felt crushed. I was torn apart between my friend and you
I gave you up to my friend, cause it seems the right thing to do for a friend,
& i also know it's wrong to toss you around like you're some kind of object, without you knowing
But soon, that feelings i gave up came haunting me back, & i was loving you more than i should.
Yes, that news spreads, you already knew i liked you
thanks to my colleagues who betrayed me (Monica & Jona, watch out, haha)
it spreads even until the chefs knew about it.
im so sorry, an ugly fat short girl like me liked you &the whole world knows about it
I'm so sorry, i embarrassed you.
I truly am,
everytime chef nelson disturbs me with you,
i run away,
i didn't want you to feel embarrassed or anything,
i just felt that running away & avoiding you is the best that i can do now
even if it hurts my heart.
i don't know if everything i said is wrong,
but im hoping one day you'll accept or reject my feelings,
soon enough, so i don't have to feel so broken hearted.

yours truly,
razlinda

What matters really?

2011-08-23T11:48:00.002+08:00

Don't you ever loved someone so much, that your heart hurts so much,
when you don't get to see him?
When you worry others girls liked him too?
when you worry your best friend likes him too,
& when you worry he likes your best friend instead of you?

I finally got that feeling, but it hurts so deeply.
it feel my heart got so heavy, it suffocates me.
whenever i see my best friend talk about him & how he looked at her,
My heart simply burst into pieces.
Sometimes, i felt so angry, i wanted to hit my best friend so much,
wanted to curse her so everytime stealing the guys i like, or had a crush on.
every single best friend i had always steals my shining knight.

I wanted him so badly,
I never really liked a guy this deeply before.
It really suffocates me,
it's like my heart just aching very single minute,seconds.
It hurts really badly, no medication can cure it.

How? when he doesn't even know my name,
when he doesn't even know who i am
All he knows that i liked him, thanks to somebody.
but he also knows that my best friend likes him too.
How? How can i love a guy when i don't even know his name, or age.
I don't even know anything about him.
But he, He caused my heart to ache this badly.
I just don't know how, but he had my heart dancing around his fingers.

Last remnants

2011-06-17T18:41:00.001+08:00

new resolution added to my list for this year.
i want to be a chic woman.
hahah.

Random feeling

2011-06-04T10:12:00.002+08:00

I feel like dancing to After School's AH.
I don't know why.
it's like a chest pumping dance.
Hahaha. it's okay,
even if i'm dancing right now,
it's not like people's gonna see.

26052011

2011-05-26T03:41:00.002+08:00

First night at backpackers hostel. ^^v

okay, it's small, but has aircon & flat screen TV but no cable.
Double decker bed, but no toilet.
toilet share with everyone else. :S
But hey! at least i can use laptop anytime!
i'm happy!
Today.
things i gotta do.
Get my $50 from my bearbank.
print application form from SHATEC
go bananas for wooyoung.(hahah!)
buy necessities.(shampoo,towel, etc)
instant noodles.
maybe water heater?
I want rice too. i miss homecooked food.
but i have to sacrifice things for my future,
since my grandparents dont have faith in what i do.
only my 1st aunt, last grandaunt, & mommy believe in my decision & supports me!
Hopefully my application is successful.
& my bitch ass teacher definitely has to stop calling me & my workplace.
That Bitch, wonder how she got my office number.
_l_ now my boss Kpo kia.
Cibai, Happy now?
cant you wait till my mum comes to school?
Bitch, Doesnt mean you need O level certificate to be successful in life.
I already have a fuck ass stable & happy job Until you started calling my workplace.
dont you get the meaning, i dont want to speak to you?
don't try to brainwash me bitch, coz it aint gonna work on me.

the fallen god.

2011-05-14T04:11:00.003+08:00

Oh god, how have i fallen?
Was it meant to be?
Tell me, how can i stop myself from falling?
Me, the great one, that shines above the rest.
how can i fall to the level of commoners?
how could i lose myself,
amid these confusions.
The once, great one, fallen as the night grew longer.

These Hands, that used to be so gracefully elegant in my very eyes,
became so vulgar and unsightly.
what used to be of a beautiful scenery,
has degraded into a filthy world.
But why?
why does my world seems to be the only one falling apart?
Have i mingled with those commoners too much,
that i have lost my purpose in this world?
Oh god,help me
help me back on my feet.
Help me find my way back,
before i lose myself forever

My new boy

2010-10-05T09:38:00.002+08:00

Not gonna be a MV this time,
But a cute video about Junhyung & his pikachu!
Cuteeeeeee! aigoooooooo~

omo~ so cute!
Pika pika, I want to be that pikachu!!
my new favourite boy~~~~~~~~~

Happy children's day!~

2010-10-01T15:01:00.002+08:00

After School - Because of You

Stayed at home,
But really did learn some new stuffs.
I learn how to listen to the beat of rap parts of songs,
I think I can learn rap quite fast.
Yeah, I know how to rap a little bit,
But i'm not gonna show you ~~~~~~~~
XP
Hahaha! Gonna start revision at 6.
then all the way until 1am maybe?

Yeahhhhhhh Hwaiting~~~~~!

I can hold my breath

2010-09-30T10:16:00.001+08:00

BEAST - '숨' (Breath) M/V

" I can hold my breath breath breath "

^-^

2010-09-29T19:00:00.003+08:00

Code Name Blue

This song very addictive! Minhyukkie oppa now enters my list!
Haha! Thanks to adlina for making me listen to this.
Daebak ah!

today, amazingly my class majority came!
Hahah! I was shocked! *singing B2st shock*
but alas, there's no phototaking.
Miss Tham seems pleased.
Her mood changes so fast.
Maybe it's PMS?
I don't know,
Anyways, today pretty much same as yesterday,
We did revision mostly,
I nearly finish my maths tropical! (Y)
Tomorrow gonna do Chemistry TYS maybe
or Biology?
I should practise more POA,
since POA is the weakest,
But also cannot forget Combined Humanities.
>-<
" Hi Aliah! "

LOVE!

2010-09-28T17:09:00.002+08:00

G-DRAGON OPPA!!!~~~~

I lovelovelove bigbang!
infact i love super junior , SHINee , 2PM , 2AM , U-KISS , B2ST , MBLAQ , FT Island, etc!
Teukkieeee, Onewwwww, Taeminnieeeeeee, Wooyoungieeee, G-dragon, Seulongggie, Donghoooo, Doojoooonnnn, Thunderrrrrrrrr, Seunghyunnie! <3<3<3<3<3
But i have mains okayy! Wooyoungie, G-dragon, Onew, thunder, etc.

my first big dream

2010-08-31T07:57:00.002+08:00

Usually for someone like me,
I don't have a dream.
i see no purpose in creating one,
cause it'll end up crushing them away like a piece of paper.
all my life is about going to school, do my work, mind my own business & head home after that
but one day, My teacher poised a question for my composition,
What do you want to achieve in your life.
I was stumped there for the very first time in my life.
I asked myself,
WHAT do I want to do for my life?
Finally after considering some nerve-wrecking decisions,
I've come to a conclusions,
thanks to the help of my friends,
I've decided to further my studies into culinary arts & baking
& even considered opening up a cafe in future.
I even laid out my plans for the future,
universities, SHATEC etc.
maybe my life isn't all that boring afterall,
with my friends right where i want them to be.

couldnt let this come true

2010-07-21T19:08:00.002+08:00

didn't expect it really.
he is two years younger than me,
& we were very much like teasing each other,
calling each other names.
I thought, hey, he's not bad afterall.
But as I got to know him better,
It took me by storm.
I didn't expect it.
He was the only guy who didn't call me short,
but instead, he treat me as his equal.
Makes me happy, sort of.
i was shy when one of my juniors/ his classmate, said, " eh your boyfriend inside "
embarrassed as i was.
But i mustn't let this go on.
this has to stop.
it's best if i treat him just as a friend.

why does my heart hurt so much?

2010-05-26T10:09:00.002+08:00

Why the hell am i crying when I knew it was never meant to be?
Is it because I never expected it to turned out that way?
or because i have been clinging on to the warmth of your eyes?
Did I fall for you far too much?
Was it more than a crush?
well, it's too late now.
You're hers now.
& I can't do anything about it.
not now, not ever.
I hope you're happy with her.
But I know you'll always be when you're with her.

What was I thinking when i fall for you?
i regretted so much, it hurts.
I shouldn't have cling on too much on hope & tormenting myself with it.
It has done enough damage in my life,
Far too much for me to handle.
Now all that's left is for me to move on to the next chapter of life.
I'm burning all memories of you,
hoping that i would forget my love for you
& regain my usual self.
but i knew, i couldn't do this myself.
It just hurt so much.

2010-05-17T15:10:00.000+08:00

whyyyyyyyyyyy can't i find a picture of wooyoung in the east comic connections?!?!?
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
Gotta check at hougang mall & sengkang mall. (:

SUPER JUNIOR HWAITING!

2010-05-14T12:47:00.003+08:00

YAY! SUPER JUNIOR JUST RELEASED THEIR NEW MV FOR THEIR COMEBACK~
It's called Bonamana or 미인아

Leeteuk look so hot plusplus, he wore a jacket only,revealing his chiseled abs.
Eunhyuk looks so cool with his eyeliner, like a joker, with the military styled tombogan(i think)
I can bearly recognise sungmin with his new haircut!
The superjunior oppas look so different & more cooler with their new haircuts & styles.
I give them 10/10 for their amazing comeback.
Their MV which is on YT has initially reached 3million in just one day,
But it was reset.
damn you YT.
Now it's 1million plus!!!
(: can't wait for their new album

I know It's reality that I have to face.

2010-05-14T12:44:00.002+08:00

I know you won't turn back to look at me,
Your heart belongs to someone else,
Someone else more prettier, more taller, more skinnier than me.
I know I'm never perfect.
I know that you will never love me.
Your eyes speak of the truth.
I am never your type
Your eyes wander around to look at that damsel far far away,
when I'm in front of you.

Passed out already.

2010-04-01T18:59:00.002+08:00

I have just passed-out of NPCC.
4 years gone by,
What have i learnt?
Many things, sweet & sour memories.
I had friends, juniors, seniors.
I didn't want it to end,
I want to continue my story with jynp.
but alas, it was not meant to be.
Cause i know i'll graduate soon too.
1 year left for me.
1 more year & soon it'll be totally over.
I hope i won't lose my cool & cry.
I more event left with my squad.
just one more.
& after that,
It'll be totally over.
our story will end there.

it's you that i ♥

2010-03-26T19:47:00.002+08:00

Jumping boy,
I swore not to fall in love with anyone,
but you, you made me go head over heels for you.
I keep turning back to look at the way you jump,
The way you walk,
The way you make me want to look at you more.
Each time I see you, My heart raced so fast
I can't seem to catch myself.
You're the reason I can't seem to get hold of myself.
I knew it now,
I've loved you.
I know I shouldn't,
But there's something bout you that has kept me falling in love with you.
Everything bout you seems so prefect,
You made me broke my new year resolution.

" New Year Resolution No. 5 : Do Not fall in love with anyone this year. "

damnnnnnnnnn it.
Screw that shit,
I broke a couple others too.
For example, not to swear vulgarities.
I broke it 28 times.
Yeahhhh baby.
But You! (points finger)
You made me want to look at you even more.
(censored) it! (29 times broken)
I have to stop it.
Yes, I have to.
Cause I can't love you.
Look at you, look at me,
I'm Miss Nobody.
You're Mr goodlooking (This is NOT a compliment.)

But in My heart,
I will love you so.

So what?

2010-03-05T13:15:00.002+08:00

I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,I hate coffee, I hate coffee,

so don't make me drink it, okay?
& if you do, I put I hate you next.
Deal?

2010-02-28T19:32:00.001+08:00

I am hurt, But it's okay.

Get the fuck out of my dreams

2010-02-21T16:53:00.002+08:00

Go to hell , wee siong.
You, apparently, are giving me constant nightmares.
Making me losing my sleep.
You are the one at fault.
Go fuck yourself,
since no one wants to fuck with you cause you're fucking ugly
you are also the reason I broke my new year's resolution
( not to say bad words, only point middle finger)

You don't have to shout to the whole world that I'm short etc.
Apparently, they have eyes that can see
& that they can see & judge by themselves.
They don't have the time to hear your shenanigans.
They don't care about you like I dont care about you too.
so why bother wasting your body water when you can use it for something else for useful?
Oh wait, maybe your body has too much water, that's why you had to find something to waste it.
Great, you are such a genius, you would even win a pulitzer award.

Happy "ohmygod, dear, It's our 1month together" !

2010-02-21T16:32:00.002+08:00

Like finally.
Haha! We didn't expect this.
Guess we both forgot. Haha!
January 21! when he first sang SHINee Juliette (which sounded so weird)
okaaay, fine. I'm only interested in the way he danced. <3
Tried to take pictures of him, but all blur.
He claims that it affects his pureness, awesomeness & hotness.
Like as if.
actually, we only decided that we would be together for only 2 weeks
considering he's a notorious playboy.
& im in love with lee tae min.
Hahah. but this can't go on.
So both of us decided that we end off at 12am tonight just in time for monday, with a big bang.
Haha!
1 month is enough for experimental.
since both of us wanted to find our true love.
haha! but still, we would remain as best friends, neighbours, etc.
Nyaahahahahah!
But I will still remember that one whole month we were together,
all those after school arcade dating.
( I won -21 games, he won 8 games.)
woohoooooooooo!

Other Half of me.

2010-02-08T12:17:00.007+08:00

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life

Fate is like a book hidden from our sight,
Yet our stories were written in it before we were born.
Sometimes we get a rare peep into that book,
And it becomes deeply imprinted on our hearts,
Sometimes for many years to come.

"And This man,
This man who is like the wind became my first love story in that
temple.
Since then,
I held a torch for you.
I began looking out for you even before I met you.
but one doesn't finally meet the right one.
We are in each other all along.
But I was too young to know it then"
" It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves -Oscar Wilde"

What if you could meet that other half?
The one & only true love.
As plato had describe,
Man was once made with four hands, four legs, two heads etc.
They could walk backwards, & do anything they want.
But the gods were afraid that they were too powerful,
thus, they shot a thunderbolt,
separating the two men & for eternity
desperately finding their true happiness & each other again.
That is in our blood.
All of us,
we have a certain yearning for true happiness.
So, let me ask you a question,
What if heavens above gives you the chance to find your other half,
Will you take the chance or leave it?

ohmyhell.

2010-01-27T18:58:00.002+08:00

That's what I'm thinking right now.
Just got back home after going out with Amira to Tampines Mall after school.
I am so beat!
But I'm still as stubborn as an ox simply because I refused to take the bus & chose to walk home.
Boy, Was I smart! (very,very,very smart)
Hah!
Well,
Today's been very draggy during Lesson periods
I've always been a good girl in class (well, almost)
I listened during POA lessons (although I couldn't even hear a thing)
I did my work silently (almost silently as I was talking to TKNS & LGS)
But I've always listen during my (express) Humanities classes.
It's not like I have any other choice as this year I'm taking the O's for Humanities.
It's a/n (freaking) important year for me
So I can't afford anymore distractions or setbacks.
I have to start kicking my habit (glaring at people)
(I can't help it okay!) People say I have scary eyes ( is that really true)
But I've always thought I have big sleepy eyes.
Although My mum always says, " I think people do not want to know what your eyes look like"
Heck, who cares anyways?
Anyways, where was I again?
Oh yes,
Social studies/History,
Ohmyhell,
I can't even see from the back. (I have to sit at Li Hau's place)
I can't complain much though, It's luck that I got a seat w/o having to bring a chair to the class.
The only problem that I've been keeping it to myself is that Faisal's head is too big.
Yes, I can't see with his head blocking the screen.
I had to shift to my left as on my right is Vivian (the councillor)
But so far, I think I can make it. (I mean understanding humanities)
And so do my other subjects.
I think I can at least pass and get the grade I've been aiming.
So that I can apply for Special Direct-Admission Exercise(am I right?) Interview
I want to get Nanyang Polytechnic's Digital Media Design (animation) course.
Ohhell, How many times must I keep mentioning this on my blog?
Like more than 10 times?
Well, For those questions in your head right now asking What for?
It's because once I graduate from sec5 (& I plan to do so),
I get to go straight to NYP w/o JAE.
If I passed the interview & fill up my port folio
which has been my recent goal nowadays (ever since the open house)
I've always (shit-ass) loved drawing cartoons & abstracts & whatevernots
& I've been a number 1 fan of animations (& rabbits) especially Japanese types.
Hah back to me! (okay, this is funny(to me) )
okayyyyyy.
Where was I again?
Oh yes. Studies.
Been listening in classes attentively.
Especially Biology & Maths & POA
English ; I still need to brush up on my summary & Composition skills.
My vocabulary & grammar is alright (for now)
My comprehension needs serious dusting (Irony here!)
It's weakening!
I've always been (shit-ass) good in comprehension but now!
Look what happened to me! (ohmyhell)
okay, okay!
I admit I haven't been doing my english comprehension papers.
But at least I did some reading. (it's good right?)
Okay, gotta end here for now.
Who knows when I might update again.
Bye for now.

By the way, Guess what!
I don't need to take PE lessons or CCA trainings
as I am medically certified that I am not allowed to do any physical training until

6months. (Hell yeah!)

If the world stops

2010-01-21T19:43:00.002+08:00

Why do people help only when we begged them to?
Why do people wait for disasters to lend a helping hand?
For there are people in need of help & are waiting for a hand of hope to come & pull them out of the eclipse that was hiding the bright light of hope.
Why do we wait for time to come?
Can't we continuously help?
Can't we make this world a better place for all of us to live in?
Where bright smiles of children playing and noises of adults chatting happily awaits.
For if we were to help one another, reach out a helping hand,
We can achieve that goal.
I believe we can!

Chappy, The wonder bunny

2010-01-18T18:58:00.001+08:00

Chappy, Full name, DJ Raja Chappy.
Gone for eternity, Erased by the whiteboard eraser.
I miss you, Chappy.
Really, I do.
I even took your picture before you were erased.
Of course, I wasn't the one who erased it.
(laugh everybody! laugh!)

Today's a dull day as it started off with POA.
I could understand here and there, But I still need to refer to my papers.
After that was History.
At first It was tiring as I had to climb the stairs from level 1 to level 4.
If the sun wasn't glaring at me, I would still be able to climb with lesser effort, considering how heavy my pencil box was with all the sleep-preventing sweets & bubble gums & a toy handcuffs.
Yes, I know, It's unnecessary items.
But My life nearly became history when I reached level 3.
Oh heck. I must start hitting those cycling machines even if I can't even do physical activity.
Who cares I die?
I don't. (okay, It's not meant to be funny)
And so after History, Let's see..
We had Malay.
Ugh, My partners, The two sharifah-s, and I completed our work so, Mdm Umi told those who completed already to find a malay book and read.
I hate having to read malay novels.
I mean like It's so bothersome.
I spent my whole lifetime reading english books, not malay books.
I stopped reading once I reached page 15.
Hey! At least I read more than 1 page.
Better than Sufia, (she didn't read at all)
Skipped the time forward.
Had recess.
Then maths.
As much as I tried loving Maths,
It sort of worked a little bit.
My test marks improved.
I used to fail badly, now I failed by 1 Mark.
It's an improvement.
Good Job!
Sooner or later, I'll be passing my mathematics.
Then comes English!
I love english.
Because I think the language is a brillant creation as We can communicate easily.
& our differences are shorten.
We had to do Group Work Article Review.
Hasan & Terence, as usual, having their couple fights.
Guang Sheng, Wan Qing & I had to do everything.
GS used the whole paragraph from the article,
& end up, I had to redo the whole thing myself with help from WQ.
Last period is Biology.
I could understand what Mrs Vinod was saying,
which Was a major shock to me.
Usually, I can't even bother to understand anything,
but Now, I can! (I'm proud of this, so?)
Maybe I can ace my exams.
But the class was so noisy,
It made Mrs Vinod angry.
Then everyone said their goodbyes to each other, & off we went.
But I stayed in school to borrow some books to further improve my english.
I need to do extremely well for my N' levels.
Cause I'm planning to apply for the SDAE
I'm hoping to apply for NYP's Digital Media Design (animation) or (games)
The in-charge said I could stand a chance because I told them, my passion was drawing animals & scribblings.

Like those times I waited for you

2010-01-05T20:09:00.002+08:00

As much as I wanted to reject myself from thinking about it,
I still couldn't
After 1 freaking year,
& I still couldn't forget him.
after all that time not coming to school, doing some recreational activity, not talking much in class,
It's all a waste?!?
Damn. why does it hurts so much?
Everytime I see him, I try to run away or hide myself from him.
I doubt that those unnecessary feelings of mine are going away soon.
As much as I try to change myself, It has become a waste.
I grew quieter & quieter day by day.
I became an introvert & built myself a wall to protect myself from what people called friends.
There are few whom are allowed in my wall
I found it hard to make new friends
I began to talk to myself,
Am I worth it?
Why does everyone seems to hate me?
Why does everyone seems to ignore me?
Am I human?
Why am I always alone?
Why am I always the plain jane as much as I try to be loud & cheerful?
I hid my smile behind these walls i built
I hid my tears behind these walls I built
I hid my worries behind these walls I built
I hid everything that was mine behind these walls I built.
Everyday I wished was a different day, but mine was the same old.
I couldn't bring myself to like myself.

The moment our eyes met

2009-12-28T19:08:00.002+08:00

What a cheesy line.
Learnt that from a pal of mine.
That funny fellow. always a fun moment.

Realised something. I tend to think that this is my diary, only publicised
Well, Since All my childhood to teenage diaries (I repeat, Diaries. Note the S) have been missing now & then. Who knows what happened to them.
Been in & out of Singapore for quite a while now,
Since I'm forbid to go for any activities that will strain my health any longer.
Doc said my health is getting worse, & if I were to do jogging, I would get asthma.
Plus, Doc forbid me to eat any oily food which I happen to hate most.
But he allowed me to eat onigiri without the soy sauce.
My favourite! Thanks Doc for forbidding the food i hate most!
I'm only allowed to go for SC since it doesn't strain me that much.
I swear if I die, ( I said, IF ) I die of boredom.
Seriously, I can't do anything much because of these restrictions.
Damn. But on the bright side, I can eat veggies.
Ah yes, I love veggies as much as people don't believe it.
So I'm stuck at home all day long.
Friends do come here and then.
But unfortunately, I am unable to text anyone or even call anyone
Since My phone had died of old age.
3 years of fall, scratches, water & tender loving care from me
I still can't forgot him. ( My phone. I name him soul )
He died so sudden.
After all we've been thrpugh. I can't bring myself to get a new phone.
Well, not now of course.
Haha.

Well, Well.
I've gained a new status : Ultimate bookworm
I mean like seriously.
I can finish like 10 novels in a span of 24 hours.
But when it comes to technology,
I'm the one whose surrounded by bad luck.
First my computer broke down ( Because of my mother )
Then The Fridge ( Because of my grandmother )
Then the washing machine ( Because of my grandmother again )
Now My phone. What luck i have.
Boo hoo hoo.

Anyhows, I intended to only post a short one,
but somehow it turned out long.
Here's what I really wanted to say ;

SEZAIRI WON!

君に届け

2009-12-17T16:00:00.001+08:00

その時点で、私はこの感覚をフェルト
気持ちは、その成長してきたビッグ今まで
もしそれ以来現在に達したと思ったんです..
( Inspired by 君に届け, Reaching you )

Goodbye world, Hello starhub cable

2009-12-03T19:16:00.002+08:00

Most people would be wondering why I never go school for trainings/meetings/or whatever sorts
& most probably be stabbing my back & insulting & cursing whatever sorts.
well, most people that is.
Without asking the victim party why & just critizing the person, must be enjoyable.
Well, to people who feel as if i'm talking about them or whatever sorts,
Don't feel that way. You'd never know who i'm talking about unless you ask.
It just take a simple thing to do to change everything, & that is asking.
By just offending the victim, It won't do you any good.
Research had shown that people who offend people with undesirable words tend to show that their english results had not been improving & been decreasing.
Indirect bullies also have shown the exact results.
Which makes them in the same situation.
You can call that two peas in a pod.
So what i'm trying to say is that,

To people, For your information, I've already told the teacher in charge that I am unable to come for any trainings because of health & family related problems.
So if you are wondering why didn't I just tell you guys instead,
Well, My answer is, Why Should I?
Rather than telling you guys, Might as well tell the Teacher In Charge
Since it's more worth it as If I were to tell you guys,
You guys might just get the wrong message,
Well, Most People do, Right?
So, Till then,
I shall say my goodbyes for now.

I hate it to be true.

2009-11-26T19:43:00.002+08:00

I did the most unforgivable crime.
I.................. ate horlicks again
& this time, More ants at the park came.

Ahhh! It reminds me of something in STC
My group members forbid me to eat horlicks
although there are times they did allow me to eat it but only one.

Ultimately shocking

2009-11-23T17:12:00.002+08:00

Talked to Changkat people.
Found out Rashid used to wear glasses!
HAHA!
Told him, that he looked better Without glasses.
Yeah true.
Hariz & syafiq never had enough with BOOMZ.

psyched

2009-11-14T20:30:00.002+08:00

I think I just found my No.1 dream guy.
I mean like seriously.
He has this awesome brown eyes
& curly brown hair.
He's of acceptable height too ( as in, not too tall )
Plus his dress sense is just the way i imagined him to be
& his voice included.
I was hoping a little bit more child-like face like hitsugaya toshiro (yishian, our fave!)
Matured's good too.

He smiled!
SUPER!
All ticks on my list done!
Eventhough he's clumsy.
But a little bit of imperfection won't harm y'know.
Talking to him right now. (^-^)v

Feeling cranky

2009-11-14T15:54:00.002+08:00

I hate winter season the most.
I really hate it.
Makes me sneeze alot.
Makes me cough alot.
I don't really want to waste my energy on those things
So please please no more rain
I don't wanna wear jackets wherever I go
I don't wanna eat more medicine
I don't wanna add up those medicine in my collection
Cause Medicine taste like poison, only bitter.
My mother would Nag & nag all day long
Hell, Tell me about it.
Whenever Winter comes around,
I hid myself in my crib
& Hibernate all day long
Like a snake during winter.
Or was it bear?
& when I hibernate myself,
Mother would wake me up
& that's the part I became cranky,
I messed up My crib
& throw things around
It was like end of the world,
Only for me of course
So once Winter ends,
I rejoice to my hearts' content Like there's no other day

"ok, What the hell,"

Is this some kind of poetry or what?

Yes, I did.

2009-11-13T19:53:00.003+08:00

Yes, I did Miss you alot.
I miss chatting with you online.
I miss listening to one of your sometimes-its-not-really-funny jokes
I miss those times when you everday tease me for being the shortest & not growing at all
I miss listening to your laughter (although it's too loud)
I miss everytime we compare our english & biology marks (since Eng's what we're good at & bio is what we're bad at)
I miss you being my listening ear
I miss you being my joker
I miss you being my best friend.

Satisfied? (hahaha!)

Life just never stops to irritate you every second

2009-11-13T19:33:00.000+08:00

Had an silent argument with my family.
We just can't agree on the same things.
What's wrong with going to school during holidays?
What's wrong with washing the sofa because it reeks?
what's wrong with repairing the computer?
What's wrong with just getting lower marks than usual?
You can't expect me to have a brain of Einstein.
If you'd like, Shave my head, Make me look like Einstein.
Who knows, My brain cells might just produce better quality.
You want me to be smarter?
Sure, Give me smarties, I'll be one.
You say I'm shit?
Gimme a sec, Lemme give you one.
Just so you know, This is my whole fucking life,
& just because you are parents,
It doesn't mean you have the right to say things about me.
You say we kids are dumb,
What about you?
Did you go university before?
Get a degree?
Get a High paying job with perks etc?
All no?
Then lemme just say this, you are just lost in your own time.

let's party

2009-10-30T22:14:00.000+08:00

School's over, Bridging coming up!

congratulations

2009-10-30T22:12:00.000+08:00

My computer crashed.

& It's the end of the world for me

Can't help it

2009-10-26T20:09:00.002+08:00

I love you too,

"Life just doesn't get better than this"

So much for adventure

2009-10-26T02:18:00.004+08:00

"Fuck, I seriously need to learn self-defending skills"

seriously ah sia.
Okay, I'll tell you why.
I was apparently spending too much time at my granny's house,
& by the time I wanted to go home, It's like already 12:40am.
All the buses are not of service any more.
So I had to walk home.
it's just a 30 minutes walk to my house,
But at the same time, It's quite far & dark areas are nearby it.
My house area was the most scariest, since it's near the forested area @ the park connector.
& there's definitely no way i'm gonna way that way.
So I walked the long cut,
Never did i realised that it was the worse mistake I ever made.
I was already nearby my house,

"& there's this guy in motorbike, suddenly asking me where's Blk ___"

Which was coincidentally my Blk.
So I pointed there (PS; I didn't tell him that's my blk)
So I continued walking.
Then, I saw that guy at the lift area.
I wanted to fake him but I was feeling scared at that time,
I mean like, It's like so quiet there & there's no one. Not a soul awake.
So I took the stairs while He took the lift,
I quickly ran up as fast i could
& hide near the rubbish chute to confirm whether or not if he's still following me.
To my dismay, it was true! He went out of the lift at level 2 when he could have taken the stairs.
It's no coincidence.
I was feeling shaky
So i went out from my hiding, & stared at him while walking slowly,

"& he was like ," ah no no " "

What do you take me for? an idiot?

his face so calm.

If he's lost, why take the lift to level 2 & looking for "someone"

I think he though my house was at level 2.

But even if he's not trying to rob me or anything,

Why is he so suspicious & dropping at the same level as me & acting lost?

Lucky I didn't take the same lift as him,

Good that I took the stairs instead.

Otherwise, who would have known what would happen?

& so,

I quickly run up as fast as a lightning

& took out my shoes & went in.

I made sure he wasn't following any more.

Cause I ran up till level 10 & ran to the corner area

when my house is at level 4.

Lucky for me, My house is near the corner staircase not the main one.

For goodness sake, I'm really lucky today.

I'm thankful to ALLAH SWT for protecting me & helping me just now.

I'm also thankful for these things

My quick thinking
My fast pairs of legs which I had taken for granted
My brain
My sandals ( lucky i wasn't wearing pumps, otherwise, I would fall)

I'm still shaky over just now.

I mean like Although this wasn't the first time I had encountered such incident

(the first one, A mentally disordered person followed me home)

(second, I forgot, )

But that guy just now was giving out this dangerous feeling

That I still haven't recovered from shaking till now.

It was like those kind in CSI & FBI-kind like shows

Okay, I'm still shaking at my legs.

I need to be on my guard now.

Seriously sia,

My house area, They seriously need to hire a security guard or something like patrol.

It's always so dangerous & mysterious.

But if you're telling me to move house,

No way! I love it here cause of the windy air.

But I do wish someone would do something about this.

I mean like put some more lights or shops or something.

"Now i got trauma of going home at night."

Gob on the stopper

2009-10-24T19:44:00.003+08:00

Okay,

Just restarted my stupid blog.

Actually don't feel like updating at all

But Kimmy (actually his alias) told me to.

No, in fact, he ordered me too

Hell, I had to suffer his spammings.

Actually I don't really mind him spamming me,

Cause, It'll end up being deleted anyways.

Been on Facebook & Twitter all the time (yes, All the time)

Not only that, been working on some things for quite some time now

Okay, I gotta start going to Martial Arts courses.

Self-defense is good you know,

Since people nowadays don't really do them anyways

But to protect ourselves against future assassins & criminals

you never know, you might have an enemy wanted to kill you

"Okay, I know I have such a futuristic mindset."

I wanted to learn Combat & stuffs like that.

I want to be like those people in the mangas I read.

"I want to be a baker, Combat specialist, artist, Musician, Etc
I want to be everything!"

Okay, Whatever,

For now, I'm learning how to bake cakes!

Schedule For Holidays; ( The ones I could think about right now )

Student Council during November (I forgot what it is about)
Overseas (Malaysia; Kampong!)
Outing w/ kimmy & friends (November)
Class chalet, (not sure If I seriously going or not)
STC Pulau Ubin (November)
Overseas (Indonesia!, December)
Outing w/ my beloved cousin (MIRA! I miss you bodoh!)
Bridging. (I have to go for maths!)

okay, I so want to drop POA! but If i were to drop, I would be left with 5 subjects & it would be ineligible for O's!

Dammit.

"It's okay, It's alright, Razlinda, Fight fight fight! Okay bullshit!"

2009-09-19T16:24:00.002+08:00

Today I finally listen to the radio for the very first time in a long time,

As long as i could remember, I stopped listening because I was hurt.

He's into music & It would hurt me everytime i listen to music because it reminded me of him

But maybe Im through that, Im not longer thinking bout him,

Cause Maybe this is long-awaited revenged? or maybe just coincidence?

No, there is no such thing as coincidence, it's inevitable.

That girl that he was chasing for two-timed him & dumped him.

Should I be happy?

No? Maybe?

I don't know. But all i know, It doesn't hurt to listen to music anymore.

2009-09-11T15:33:00.002+08:00

I dream of a plain of ice

I feel the presence of ice

I hear a voice

An echoing voice

Crushing

Engulfing

Resounding into the distance

Just like thunder

Brushing against my hand

Like a delicate of cover

On that plain of ice, I die

I hear a voice

An echoing voice

Crushing

Engulfing

Falling into my hand

Just like thunder

Far

Near

I hear it resounding

Now I decide to search

To find it

And move onward

even if I die on this plain of ice

2009-08-28T16:31:00.001+08:00

Shoujo Manga is too wild. I repeat, Shoujo Manga is too wild.

2009-08-07T10:07:00.002+08:00

Perhaps i can't cry because the tears won't come out anymore

Maybe they're just too dry,

2009-07-28T15:28:00.001+08:00

2009-07-26T15:15:00.002+08:00

Though It seems impossible,

I still harbour these ungrateful wishes of mine.

For you to be mine.

2009-07-26T00:02:00.002+08:00

If "Just Give Up" is the first thing that comes to my mind, then I'll be more than willing to do it.

Although I know it seems impossible.

2009-07-25T20:29:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, Reality is harsh, that I can't bear to face it.

2009-07-24T17:10:00.001+08:00

happy birthday to me & daniel radcliffe.

see you in cinemas.

2009-07-20T09:20:00.001+08:00

Gastric.

2009-07-19T23:50:00.001+08:00

i wanna shit so badly that my toilet bowl won't allow me to sit on it

2009-07-18T21:56:00.001+08:00

i feel like there's a crack somewhere in my brain that i can no longer think well & it aches so much i feel like sleeping.

2009-07-14T14:56:00.003+08:00

i spent my days with a broken wrist, reading online mangas.

im addicted to Ouran High School Host Club manga,

Someone stop me before i go further into watching the anime.

I can't even glue my eyes to my school books.once i face my textbook,

i tend to fall asleep right away.

Im guilty of this. -.-

2009-07-13T13:40:00.000+08:00

if only you knew.

<3!

2009-07-11T14:46:00.003+08:00

yozxs.

ahha

Encik Zulkarna'en( salah kan? ) something something something asked me to update.

fine lor.

This post dedicated to you. dengan bahasa kaw sekali aku pakai

so kaw leh paham since kaw tak leh paham english kan?

Ni kes tak sincere nye orang.

name kaw tak leh panjang lagi ke pe?!?!

confirm kaw akan reply aku " parents aku yang name kan, hot kan?"

tak perlu ah sey.

ahahah!

Kaw nye recent post tak perlu sia.

nasib blog kaw private. takde orang bace.

maklum lah, sape nak bace blog kaw?

aahahah! amik kaw! ahhah!

sampai hati kaw taruk gambar tu pat post kaw!

orang baru nak act macam titanic pat marina bay

abeh kaw gi tolak aku,

nasib aku tak jatuh.

klaw tak, habes ah kaw.

ahahah! abeh si mus tu gi amik gambar

tak senonoh sia gambar tu.

haram taw.

kadang2 aku pon heran,

asal aku suay ni?

abeh tu, aku terfikir jugak, sejak aku jumpe kaw,

aku suay. daa nasib aku kan.

Nasib eqal tak marah kaw, klaw tak,

habis kaw! ye lah, korang due kan kawan sejati

abeh die tak kesah klaw kaw bully aku!

ape nye mataer ni?!?!!

ahahah! shhh,

jangan bilang die yang aku tak marah pasal die gi 'flirt' ngan nenek bawah blok tu. ahaahh!

in fact, aku maseh ngah tertawe sia.

ahah!

eh, post ni cukup untuk kaw?

maklum lah, since mataer aku best friend kaw,

aku pon bestfriend kaw jugak kan? ahahah!

lol. sape sia nak jadi best friend kaw?

aku best friend anna, mataer kaw! ahaahh!

nasib hari tu anna tak de, klaw tak, kene piat pat telinga!

ahahahah!

kay kay done,

that is for my friend. ^^

random outburst

2009-07-10T17:50:00.002+08:00

just random thing okay.

how the *^@#&*T^@ hell did Danzo get sharingan??

that stupid bastard.

he doesnt (@^#&*@^$ deserve to be hokage.

)(#&$*@$ & now he's 'locking up naruto in a cage like a bird'

you know what i mean.

@#&$*(@& nabeiiiiiiiiiiiii.

He think he what,

oi mr author, give danzo lame roles & abilities ah sia.

he already old & tangan patah daa lame tak leh cure.

ahaha!

okay done!

Hiatus.

2009-06-18T15:40:00.002+08:00

Will be away for a long time.
having tuitions & all sorts during holidays.
Man, Once holiday starts to come to an end,
Shedules get prettyyyyy tight.
yeahyeahyeah.
Moreover, I've got home-based NYAA skills course
Heck, I can't skip this 'cause It's so (*@^#^ expensive.
Now, My mum told me to skip CCA first,
Since studies comes first of course.
^^ then again,
I have to go for NCO preparatory course.
& I still got outside courses on the same day & time.
im in a dilemma.
T.T
Also, I got a date on 24th
& 25th maybe for my cousin to the city.
Maybe I seriously need to make a timetable
so i'll know which date i'm free or not.

^^v

2009-06-13T20:32:00.001+08:00

Haikel introduced this song, it's in malay.
^^v
Yuna - Dan sebenarnya

Oh bulan, enggan melayan diriku lagi pabila
air mata membasahi pipi
dan lagu-lagu di radio seolah-olah memerli aku pabila
kau bersama yg lain
adakah perasaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku
ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri pabila
kau bersama yang lain
adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku
pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah,
jatuh ke bumi
di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
seperti ku bernafas dalam air
adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku
ohhhh
dan sebenarnya
aku rindu
dan sebenarnya
dan sebenarnya
aku tak mampu

Achievement 2

2009-06-09T04:50:00.003+08:00

Since I've finish Naruto Shippuuden season 1 in 26hours,
I have done much better in season 2 in 12 hours!
I never went anywhere in that 12 hours.
= = '''
soon Im going overboard.
So bringing my lappy & watching there.
^^ V peace! (:
ohyeah, Also,
I've got to make spaces for these people
Waaaani & Al,
Amiraaaaa,
MACD,
Reena
Kak Ifah,
oh there's still sumore,
okay,
I wanna continue season three before i go! :P

Achievement

2009-06-08T05:02:00.002+08:00

Yessaa!
I have finally finish watching season 1 of naruto shippuuden!
now left 3 more seasons i think,
eh wait, it's still on going.
I guess I have to catch up!
:P

LMSC 2009 pictures. (:

2009-06-06T14:27:00.003+08:00

I Miss LMSC '09 so much! (:
[ click to enlargee ]

see the guy beside aloy's beside?
that's jun wei. cuteeeee! (:
also at the back, last row.
The second from right.
That's Eugene!
He's the yaya [ know-it-all ]

sorry, but this is goodbye?

2009-06-03T23:26:00.002+08:00

Just went home after going out with, ♥
It was right after my LMSC,
I told him alreadyy I'm tired.
But he insisted on going out,
asal kan kaw bahagia sudaa.
My footsies are aching terribly.
ahaha! (:
Oh yes, This year's LMSC was superb!
It was better than last years eventhough there were lesser area9 schools
but so long as PRSS, DMSS, &CVSS have okayy already!
ahhah!
Jyss combine with st andrew's, Hai Sing Catholic & Compassvale secondary!
They were a funny bunch! ♥
ohoh, in my group, there's this guy, at first when I saw him, I thought he was a malay,
then when he started speaking chinese, Waaaa! wasted! x(
it was due to his dark skin tone that made people think that he is a malay!
ahahah! even the HO Hoe Yee & Bee Hua think so too!
His voice is exactly like Mingfeng's! (:
aahhaha! only he's cuter than MF! :P
but seriously laaa! he cute siaaa!
aahaahah!
cut short the whole story!
the lectures were some sleepy & fun
& the games were good!
& i ♥ squad 8! (:
& i was like somewhat shyy whenever i was near that "malay" guy!
when he spoke to me, I was like, " ............ *smiles*"
ahaah, i was standing at the last row beside him,
then i was like the shortest!
& he asked, what's your name ah?
I said raz.
he said, that's your full name?!?! * friend,raynian turns behind also,
Raynian: really?
Raz : noo lah! it's just that my full name *in chinese: Very troublesome*
then they was like waaaaaaaaa, she know chinese abit lehh! no wonder! she look like one also!
ahahah!
i was like, " noooo! :O"
ahahahh.
I was like tiptoe-ing, said , " aiyaaa, I short siaaaaa! "
He was like , " Hahaah! poorthing, but I like it! "
x] this chinese guy is wayyyyy much better than ♥!
after the whole LMSC, i miss him manymany! ahahaha!
wait till i get the photo from HO bee hua!
after that, sent derick to bus 27 stop
me & derick had a bet.
he is to get two girls number, cant elaborate more on who.
& if he gets it, I will get it from two guys as well from i won't elaborate on this one either.
Now he got one , left one more.
the last one very hard,, pray he won't get it.
because I very paiseh to ask. - -

then, met ♥, & had a longggg talk with ♥
I told him, I need a time off, I can't be possibly be like his so-called dog.
always listening to him, always following him around.
i'm a human too, kay! so treat me like one.

realise something?

2009-06-02T05:27:00.002+08:00

i miss my long fringe. :(
Guess what?
I've just realised something.
:D actually nothing bahzxs!
iiexs veriixz lamezxs h0rzxs.
lolxsz!
twit here & there.
irritating bodoh!
I used to twit but that was in the past,
I can't even understand what I'm twitting about last time.
- -'''
woke up early to prepare for later LMSC.
ughh, can i not go?
My mom's gonna nag at me if she sees my room.
i'm finally done editting the basecodes for my blog skin.
2days! now that's a record! :P

Missing.

2009-06-02T04:24:00.003+08:00

Sorry, on going Hiatus.
(:
was practically busy.
No one knew i went to overseas.
Aha! I brought my lappy along.
With the internet cable!
but sadly, I didn't buy any gifts there.
Yes, for four days, I didn't buy anything.
Aha. I spent too much time on internet
during the whole trip!
:O
ahahah, anyways, I surfing at threadless for teeshirts
( begged my mom to buy me one )
& I saw one that i think everyone would like.
since my class, some of them didn't like the current class teeshirt.
So i thought of something simpler.
like just a teeshirt w/o collar.
check this out,

the do you is the back of i love 3n2

Big breakfast.

2009-06-02T04:24:00.002+08:00

I ♥ taking picture with my class !
here's with terrence & calyn
Ivy & shikyn

i ♥ this picture the most! Habboians!
razraz, temasek & i forgot what's terrence's habbo name!

This is pathetic, Only One?!?

2009-05-30T01:57:00.002+08:00

I only got one of my photo.
I look good in this picture.
The rest, god knows where.
I think it's with raudhah.
& some other people.
I'm not sure myself.
I just appeared..
whenever they are taking pictures.
i got some in my phone,
Only that i'm pretty lazy myself to upload.
I'm not feeling well today,
so I went home, w/o going cca.
I'll update tomorrow like I said yesterday.
(:

updates tomorrow

2009-05-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

I wont be updating..
till tomorrow maybe.

Going hiatus! woohooo!

To Nadzirah

2009-05-28T05:11:00.002+08:00

Wanna know why I put her picture?
basically, 'cause she's turning 15 today.
& I think She's a nice person.
Though we don't talk that often,
But I wanna say, Last Long with Bryan Vierra haziq,
Did I spell his name correctly?
(:
You guys have been together since primary school.
whoaaaaa! ahaha, Last long & happy birthday!

boring day,isn't it?

2009-05-27T22:50:00.002+08:00

Today is a pretty boring day
yeah. if i have known, i wouldn't have come to school.
I slept in class.
Yes sleeping at the most uncomfortable thing in the world.
I had to change my positions so that my body wouldn't ache.
In the end, i sat on the floor with my head on the chair.
ahah. Adliona & some others also slept.
Liangkai, man u sucks. but you suck more!
ahahaha.
I think i aced my english papers.
It was the only paper that i could smile about.
My composition was not that shabby 20/30
& my comprehension was not too bad either 42/60.
but my summary was at the downhill.
6/20. can you imagine that?
aha.
okay, enough of the faggot results.
I need to get some shut eye & train them up for tomorrow
if i am going to school
so that i can sleep more in class.
oh yeah, sorry ♡, i cancel the meeting,
Im very sleepy ah. was tired.
I didnt get a shut eye yesterday.
yes, i will take care.
you too, ♡

Petsociety

2009-05-27T03:08:00.004+08:00

iloveyoubby, 250509

Like omg, You're 15!

2009-05-27T02:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY !
to mingfeng, afiqah, vonnie!

Call 995, will you?

2009-05-26T21:15:00.003+08:00

Say hello to my favourite band in the universe.

I'm typing with one hand, since i can't move my other hand that much.
Darn, I shouldn't have played floor ball.
I was hit by some people. = =
The impact was like whoa!
Luckily, I got MC.
By the time I went home yesterday from Praxis,
My wrist started to hurt like shitzxs.
So stayed at home.
Yeah, Today, Surprisingly, Alot of people didn't go to school.
So chatted with a couple of them,
& slept for a while,
did my laundries,
Ate my breakfast - dinner.
bath. ( yes, I eat before i bath, so that after i finish bathing, i still can eat more )
Played online games to kill boredom,
audio mixing,
habbo.
slept again,
watched Disney.
then here i am right now.
Aha. (:
currently chatting with Hyatt( with the double tt ) grand hotel.
He's The Master Ponteng.
Sial la. He ponteng like more than 1 month.
aha! (:

Happy Birthday

2009-05-26T14:26:00.001+08:00

Happy 15th birthday to Khairiah
Last long with umar!

amira is the bitch

2009-05-25T20:05:00.002+08:00

Your Birthday's Yesterday & I forgot to tell the whole world bout it
damndamndamndamn

Hey Bitch,
happy birthday!

Recall

2009-05-25T18:27:00.003+08:00

Had Praxis Competition.
I had to admit it, It was fun.
Playing with Ifah, Adlina, Safi.
Our Angel was wani.
Aha. There's one part where All of us were retrenched
& desperately need a job but end up retrenched again
aha.Safi & Ifah Earned a lot money,
meanwhile, I was on the other hand, Losing a lot of money to insurance & donations & property tax.
there's one time, i thought i had gone bankrupt,
But this assistant guy helped me,
Lucky !
After the whole competition ended,
Terrence Got overall third, with more than $100000 earned.
I'm not sure what's the exact amount.
Chengfeng got second position.
Some 3E2 guy i think got 1st.
It was enjoyable despite I thought It was gonna be boring in the beginning.
I went home With Farisha, Sufia, Riyah.
Dropped at the tampines mart bus stop to buy something.
then while at the market,
I saw Azhar ( pronounced as A-Zee-Har ) , My Primary school friend.
we were walking past each other, staring.
Then i was, " heyyyyyyyy, I know you! "
He was like, " ehhhh, yeahh! "
exchanged smiles.
Then we continued walking to our destination.
he look so matured. Too matured.
I mean that Beard of his.
Wait should I even call it beard? It's so freaking short,
But I realised, He never grew!
Okay fine, He did, but so slow.
Im at his shoulder height. (:
ahahah
I still remember The old times at my primary school.
He was the horny pervert back then, Im not sure if he is still now.
ahahah. (:
Then bought My fave beehoon hongkong (:!
& went home.
By then, My sprained Wrist was hurting.
So i went online for a few hours online & slept
After chatting with Elevator, exchangin results.
I must say he did well. (:
Good Job!
I must catch up, otherwise I will get left behind.
Yeah. Elevator told me to get some shut eye, since It's been a long time Since i last slept.
Ahahah, Thanks. (:

Ermm.

2009-05-25T03:11:00.002+08:00

If Life's easy, Why isn't there anyone happy?
Why is there still sufferings & tragedies?
Why ? The reason is simple;
Life was never easy.
There are ups & downs for each individuals.
Why, you ask, I'm writing this?
I have my own ups & downs.
But The downs were always invading me,
controlling my every emotions.
There are times I felt like breaking down
But I knew I couldn't.
There are times I felt like killing myself,
But I knew there are still people who love me.
There are times I couldn't take it anymore,
self-inflicting hurt on myself.
I tried to do things that I thought would help me,
but no, it didn't work.
All these smiles I made to show people I was happy were fake.
I didn't want anyone to worry,
So I faked my smiles, my laughter.
Only my best friends Know what life I'm living in.
With the bitch at my home, My parents always busy with work,
I was never happy.
I tell people, I'm happy,
But I was never.
The only times I was happy, was
with my best friends who shared their happiness with me
It seems so contagious.
But it was never enough.

Kris Allen

2009-05-24T00:07:00.002+08:00

Kris Allen!

This guy is like so effing hot!
too bad he's married.
but, never give up as what my previous post said.
just like how long i ♥ ryan ross!
Did i mention, Ryan ross is hotter than Kris?
ahahah, but nevertheless, Im a fan of both of them!

love, what is it?

2009-05-23T22:04:00.004+08:00

Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete.
This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It's when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that's how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.
It's when they're the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they're the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It's the smile on your face you get when you're thinking about them and miss them.
Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you're in love. If you find it, don't let it go. Is that too much to ask?

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life : love

Kitkat

2009-05-23T17:39:00.003+08:00

I smelled like Kitkat.
I ate One whole packet of it.
& No matter how much i try to brush away the smell,
It won't work.
Damn, Kit-Kat.
It's okay, I will use Listerine.
I know I'm being such a random person today.
Elevator wanted me to accompany him to the garden at tampines 1 yesterday,
but it was already 9.46pm.
Obviously, my mom wouldn't let me go out,
moreover, I did not finish my work.

contactcontact!

2009-05-23T14:05:00.002+08:00

Yessa! (:
Im going to get new contact lens, ever since mine tore )x
on.................

My birthday. which is still far away.

because my mom said, i bought without her acknowledgement.
My friend bought it for me lehh. Not me. (x

3rd post!

2009-05-22T23:09:00.005+08:00

Pictures That i missed out!

Part 1 & 2 ; Part one is on the left! part two is on the right!

This is for Mdm Chia. (x

New skin! ♥

2009-05-22T12:14:00.002+08:00

Yay! finally i got a new skin.
i took more than 2 hours just to edit everything.
wait, it wasn't 2 hours, 2 days.
today, I didn't go school because Im a easy-to-get-Tired person.
So it'll be hard for me to wake up the next day.
Even if you shout Fire or show rock at me, I won't wake up.
Even if you splash water on me or Bashed me up, I won't still wake up
ahah, (:
Im going to school later. (:

im so bored.

2009-05-22T01:09:00.002+08:00

'sup.
Today,21may2009, The whole school went to SDC.& i was late. Ughh, I forgot the time & went out at 730am. I'd only realised that i was late when i reached the interchange. Yes, There was no junyuanites. So obviously, i was late. I browsed through the messages that i received this morning, Just switching on my phone now & saw it stated 7am. I was like fuck, wth. i shouldnt have switch off my phone. So i took the cab. It cost me $33.65. With That much of money, I can buy things. Alot of things. There was a huge jam at the expressway & suprisingly, when I arrived, there was still more classes that have not arrived yet. Lucky for me, My class arrived already. So I sat the back, leaning against the pillar, waiting for the JGT to start. I won't elaborate what happened at SDC but what I can say is that it was quite fun esp. At the Army Museum. Watching the War. Its sound effects are expensive, y'know. Then during Lunch, We were given hot dog bun. Like Wth. Moreover, It doesnt taste Nice without the chili. They didn't provide us with chili. I thought The food's gonna be delicious, But My thought was turn upside down. We paid so expensively for it & all we get is Hot Dog Bun? This is Injustice. Why don't they give up pork bun? Isn't taster? & It's Swine Flu related. Better. I rather eat that than the hot dog bun without chili. I love chili (!) . Miss Z bought for us 7 pizzas but there were 8 of us. So i didn't take. I didn't want to be labelled as greedy. Im happy as long as i get to eat something although it is injustice. Today, My mood was spoilt by someone who got on my nerves so much. ugh. Whatever. Then after the whole excursion, Board the bus & went back. In the Bus, Most of us were sleeping & those few who weren't sleeping took pictures of those sleeping. I was one of those who were sleeping. If i found out who took my picture, He/she will get it from me. I was sleeping in my shades & my position was so uncomfortable. Even if they want to take a picture of me sleeping, at least wake me up so i can sleep in a better looking position. i look ugly sleeping like that. Aha. By the time We reached school, it was around 4? I guessed the meeting was over so i left.

To my bestfy dericklimchenghuat ;
Thanks for the message. I didn't know you would be this supportive. Seriously. I wasn't expecting that. It's sweet of you to offer me help if i needed any. But don't do anything bad okay? No negative stuffs on you, like smoking, fighting ( only me can ), & gangbang. You too, if need any help, I'll always be there for you. That's what friends are, right? I'll be by your side, rain or shine. We'll be bestfriends no matter what happens!
This is you ( the duck ) & me ( the lamb! ) ! Bestfriends for life!

Free time

2009-05-21T03:49:00.002+08:00

Now is Currently 3.49am
ahaha.
so i decided to edit blog skin.
so free. i cant sleep these past few days
& now the handbags under my eyes are getting worse.
Everytime i wear eyeliner, it hurts. = =
ex-♥ said i look weird.
ahahah. jahat seyy.
he's my guy bestfy now.
in my list of guy bestfy,
there is : Alif, ♥, Irfan & Hafiz ( duh, we knew each other since pri sch ) , Derick, Clement, MF, Terrence! , Achap Mok, Rafi! , Chopin!, Shah-D!, etc. i cant remember all. ahahah, sorry fellas!
Ahahah. I miss Shahirah & Ain.♥ ( my Primary school bestfy )
Hopefully we can go out sometime later. I miss you two many2
oh, i also miss my bestfy, syarifah♥ ( pri sch again )
she's the one whom i shared all my problems to, the one who always been there for me.
Syarifah, i wish i knew where you are now & how to contact you.
bitch, i miss you siaa. ); ♥!
Also, Yirou & adabelle. I miss you both! ♥!
Let's see who else?
Hm, 6.8! Yes!
I miss : Vithiya♥, Eliza♥, Yingting♥, Priya, Rachel,asyiqin, yiting, Regine ♥!, i-forgot-who-else.
the boys, Adam Wilkinson! I remember your full name! ahaha! I miss achap mok, Shah-D, Firdaus♥!, let's see who else. Chuan Siang! , weekiat, Sanjeevan, Satya ( satay-a ), i forgot who else.
ahhaha, ♥ 6.8. we must have reunion! i wanna see you guys many2!

eh eh, back to the topic lahh deyy.
aha. as i mention. ex♥ said i look weird.
hahahaa. evil siaa. x)
Though we've been together for only 3weeks until i was the one who stopped it,\
but i feel very comfortable with you. But i can only treat you like a brother.
sad eh? *laughs*
Now I'm editing Everything that related to my blog.
aha, been reading people's blog. aha, mostly my classmates & juniors. & seniors. I don't have time to read my batch's . aha. LOL.

I've just realise. how stupid i was. to have fallen in this game of ♥. I thought he ♥ me, but he didn't. All these years, I ♥ him because i thought the sky seems brighter when i ♥ him, But i was wrong. I was reading his blog, & I realised, he never remembered my birthday at all. Even though i remembered his, It somewhat felt like a knife stabbing my heart countless of times. Too bad, I don't ♥ him now. I don't want to play in this game anymore. I don't want to get hurt anymore. I'm too weak. Ugh, My mom almost resorted to bringing me to a psychiatrist. Because i was screaming in my sleep. scary, i know. & i thought i was dreaming of something funny. She said sometimes i stared at blank spaces in my room & i spent too much time in my room. That is another reason why she gave me internet. I was drawing somethings in my room. scenery & views of people playing. From My house, I can see everything. But The most wonderful thing is seeing the sunset. It felt so peaceful. it matches with the forested area near my house. * my house's near Pasir Ris. (x
Aha. eh, I want to edit my stuffs before i go school. (:

i cant sleep ;

2009-05-21T03:37:00.002+08:00

GREETINGS, Readers of 3.4oam.

I cant sleep. That's why im posting this. out of boredom.
Ah yes, i forgot to post something/
for someone who is a number fanatic for PATD,
It's a punishment not to post this.
ughh. how can i forgot?
Look at Ryan ross, The guy in the black.
cuteeee right? :D he is mine!
The guy in red is zafy's, Kak Nab spf. (:
You can share the guy in red but not ryan ross!
Mine alone! I know im selfish! so? aahah

randomatic

2009-05-21T02:03:00.003+08:00

Where's the laughter when you need it?
Where's the love when you want it?
Find it. Take it. Keep it.

Meanwhile, as you ponder upon my so-called philosophy spending more than 1 minute to understand, Enjoy your laughter at this photo below. It features my most favourite band in the world ; Panic At The Disco. Yes. you saw it right. Now guess who's who. Im not telling you.

mom & dad ;

2009-05-20T01:49:00.001+08:00

To Parents of Norazlinda Binte Zaidy,

I, Norazlinda Binte Zaidy , your very own daughter, would like to request for a new electric guitar.

The Passing of Ryro recently had left Norazlinda affected very much deeply & emotionally. Oh, Did I mention, physically? Please Find a Replacement As soon As Possible because the passing of a loved one is rather not remembered. Like The saying goes, Life's like that. I, Norazlinda Binte Zaidy, Would like a Hagstrom Guitar. Why, you ask? Basically, My idol, Ryan Ross, has reported said that the Hagstrom Guitar can last long & scratch resistant. Yes. You should Know me better, right? What type, You ask again? I never thought of that yet, but nevertheless, I have found several. I want Either The Super Swede / Swede/ Viking Deluxe / Deluxe-F. All Under The Vintage Series. I fell in love with those babies like i fell in love with Ryro. Sadly, he passed away 2 years ago, right? I suddenly had the urge to play my guitar again because playing the internet 24/7 is getting boring & useless. I cant find any reasons to use computer anymore. All I do is log in on MSN & Facebook. No, mom, I dont use Tagged. I divorced with him. Wait, I was never attracted to it at all. I use it for fun & laughter. What? My friendster? I cant enter it anymore, It always has errors. So, You would agree with me, In buying me a new guitar? the ones i've chosen. You guys can choose. Take Your Pick, All I want is That type of guitar, Hagstrom vintage series, & no more than that. Im willing to wait for 1 year. Not more than that.

Your understanding is muchly appreciated.

yours sincerely,

Norazlinda Binte Zaidy Bin Zainal Bin God-knows-what-but-i-dont-care-really

something happened ;

2009-05-19T19:32:00.003+08:00

okay, im gonna post bout yesterday.
'cause many stupid things happen to many people & i happened to be one of them.
It was due to monday blues. ughh, i hate monday blues.
the first victim was me. ( expecting that, did you? )
I hadn't been able to sleep lately & i was awake from 2am all the way to 6 am. of course, i didn't sleep at 6am. crazy ah? i dont wanna miss any exams anymore. = =
What again? what's the stupid thing? i'll tell you. I was feeling quite tired 'cause my eyes just wouldn't shut & i was getting sick of playing computer for the whole day since morning.
So i was staring at blank spaces in my room, trying to do something. Suddenly, i felt something was amiss in my room. Then when i looked at my clock, guess what, it reads 7am. i was practically freaking out. i thought i was late. i quickly ran to the bathroom & bathe & cooked my breakfast. Then while i was wearing my shoes, my mom came out of her room & said, " eh, why go school so early? now 4am leh ". I stopped & looked out at the windows. I hadn't noticed that the sun hadn't rise yet, but i was a gundu & thought it was 7 am without looking at the windows. i changed back to my homeclothes, without much hestitation & used my computer again, without arguing. My Parents were laughing at me. is this the kind of parents you want, people? if you want, take them. they're yours. Then time flies. Around 6am, i took my time to bathe again & change into my school uniform. i didn't eat my breakfast 'cause i ate already. so yeah. i was pretty early when i went out of my house. Inside the bus, i saw the next victim of monday blues.
Next Victim ; Some SPFS guy,
The bus was not crowded, i must say 'cause im lucky that i got a seat. So this guy, was standing up. Beside the person whom he was standing infront was his friend. Btw, He was standing infront of the elderly seats in the new bus. so yeah. his friend was beside the person infront of him. Then The bus suddenly came to a halt & everyone had jumped. seriously, those who were standing, were jumping. One time only lah. But that guy, he was holding the handle & so-called swing around the pole. it made him looked him as though he was pole dancing. yes, im saying this 'cause i actually saw him. ahaha. it was hilarious 'cause he was busy concentrating is staring at girls ( me & my friends from other schools which i happened to saw them in the bus ) , He swong around the pole & nearly hit the person infront of him. His face was red all over. ahahah. i pity him. When we got down, he quickly disappeared. his friends were like laughing at the back. LOL. so bad. After my friends left, i waited & took the bus. i was pretty darn early. I mean it, Pretty Darn Early. ahahah. boarded the bus. saw fi,syah, myrah, fadh. sat beside sharifah e3. (; ehn by the time i reach, it wasnt even 8 i think. my classmates was like, " whoaaa! Raz, is that you? first time siaa you early. " = =''' bastards. ahahah, Then exam. Maths was a killer. Ughh. i haven take my paper 1 yet. = = after the exam, went out with farisha & riyahh. not really went out lahh! ahahahah! you've just been punked! ahahah. LOL. went home after meeting mom. before meeting mom, i went to Giant, Ikea to survey for groceries. At giant, I was walking when i came across the water-cooler with benches for shoppers to rest. There, god know why, i stopped & stared at the water cooler for more than 5 minutes. During that time, i was remembering those times, with zaki & reena & yishian & fadhli while we were buying sodas for our class funfair. Those memories were so vivid, it felt as though it was happening. it was like a movie showing. & god, i actually cried. i dont know why, but i cried. I broke down for no reason. All those around me were staring at me. Then there's this Old lady came up to me, giving me a piece of tissue. she held out her hand, telling me to stand up. I was like , '' o.o? " she was like, " be strong, Life's like that. but dont give up what you're searching for 'cause it may be right infront of your eyes but you just couldn't see it " I could still remember her words. It was the first time, someone told me to stand up, be strong. thank you whoever you are. ah yes, back to the whole monday blues thingy, met mom, & she wanted to shop again. ugghhhhh, my legs were breaking soon. VERY ACHING HOR!

tag replies

2009-05-18T04:39:00.003+08:00

Myrah : it's Bape shoe. Nice taw/ i happened to be randomly going to ebay for no reason, & i searched shoes & saw that. Nice bodoh!
L-Weixuan : yeahh! mustmustmustmustmustmustmustmust!

ohyes, watch Taylor Swift's You Belong With me.
Nice siaa!
Also Take my quiz at facebook,
the new one, created out of boredom!

this is the first one.

then the next one. myrah admitted!

LOL, myrah started the Ponyo thingy. i continued only.

ahahaha, i was bored.
i've done all the things that i should do when im bored.

I wants!

2009-05-17T12:34:00.003+08:00

I want these shoes!

Tag Replies :
Fizzy : Ahahaha, thanks!
Myrah : Aye, takyah send tiga kali lah klaw pon. ahahah, kays. laen kali aku capture banyak banyak random talks.
soo-fia : wassup. :D eh? camne kaw dpt blog aku?
L-weixuan : kaykays, later i taggie you kays :D

study date with ifah

2009-05-16T13:12:00.004+08:00

Here are the photos to my study date with ifah.

Let the photos do the talking, aites?
anyways, we did study.
ahaha
oh, my aunt is now here. she maybe overnight.
♥;

Here's For You, Myrah

2009-05-14T15:32:00.002+08:00

Title: Random talk of the day

You got your wish, Myrah.
But I only can Capture abit. I cant capture the whole convo. Leceh uhh

[Click to enlarge]